Yes, I am doing a Valentine’s Day Relationship Advice Post. Or better yet, a How-to-forget-the-prick-with-whom-you-should-have-celebrated-this-day-if-not-for-the-break-up post.
Spoiler: no bad language this time. I have been challenged.
I am writing this for a friend, I’ll call her Susanne, who has been struggling after her last break-up (aka being dumped). She is, like many humans on this Earth, spending Valentine’s Day alone – just like this poor bunny.
After a long chat, listening to her blabbering about what pieces of $%#! men are, I offered her a scientifically proven advice: find yourself a new D! It doesn’t have to be a loveable D. You don’t have to marry the D. Just find one D and use it for its primary purpose.
In order to get over a D, get under a new D! Or on top of the new D. Or sideways. Most like it from behind. Or have two Ds. Or even a V. No judging. Those should stuff all wounds left behind by that SOB.
What does a new D bring?
- Well, the illusion of a relationship. Your brain will secrete a lot of the GOOD chemicals, which will dilute the BAD chemicals, produced by the break-up.
- A new D will prove to your V that the old D wasn’t perfect, and it might even show her a few more tricks.
- A new D will remind your heart that it could do well without the old D. In fact, it will reassure the heart that all it ever needed were the same old 3 people: Me, Myself & I.
What a new D doesn’t bring:
- a long-lasting relationship; rebound S should be emotional, but in a more angry kind of way; rebound S is a type of revenge S; it is not loving S!
- amnesia; you will not be able to completely forget the old D, but the new D will definitely tone down the pain.
- preferably no STDs or a little, crying, pooping B; so use a CONDOM!
Alternative post: The best way to get over a V, is to get yourself inside a new V. Or A. Or whatever. You get the message. We all hurt the same.
So, that’s the quick science lesson of today. Try it, or not. But I tell you, IT WORKS!
Have a great Thursday.